Tuesday, December 6, 2016

12-Step Douchebags: Step 9 Bullshit

Ever had one of those 12-step assholes come slithering up out of your past, trying to “make amends”? What pisses me off is, they do this shit for benefit of no one but their own damn selves.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the shit storm I caused for you. I know I was a real asshole back then…”

True that, and you’re still an asshole right now for thinking a few words from a boilerplate apology will mean a fucking thing to me.

“I know there’s nothing I could ever do to make it up to you…”

Yeah?  Have you ever even thought about trying?  Have you ever even begun to imagine any portion of the tangible costs your bullshit incurred for me?  Oh sure there’s all the intangible damage you’ve done that can’t be price-tagged, but does all the shit that’s impossible to repay, absolve you of responsibility for the shit that is possible to repay?  

So in reality it’s not that there’s nothing you could do, more like there’s nothing you actually *would* do, besides spilling balloon juice trying to cleanse that filthy train wreck you have for a soul.

“If there’s any way you could find it in your heart to forgive me…”

That would be up to my heart, hold on a second, I’ll ask… well… sorry but my heart says FUCK THAT!  It doesn't seem to be negotiable.  Did you really think that shallow words and empty apologies would make me feel like you’re right with the world?  As if a history stained by your actions magically washes clean?  Hey everyone, did you hear that?  He says he’s sorry… yeah, "sorry"... imagine that!  Isn’t that special?

Why don’t those 12 step programs teach them to really try to make amends?  “I know it’s not enough, but here’s a month’s salary, and a picture of me of me on day 10 of eating nothing but Japanese noodle soup and soda crackers.”  That’d be something, wouldn’t it?  But sadly it’s something we’ll never see, because Step 9 isn’t about righting all the wrong they’ve done, it isn’t even about righting any of it, it’s about helping them to ease the guilt for all the mayhem they’ve caused.

Effectively they want your permission to forget their bullshit actions and pretend the slate is clean. As if "working the steps" cancels history and makes them worthy of your trust.  Really all they want is permission to feel better about themselves as human beings -- DENIED!

AFAIC, they can stick all that happy horseshit right up their asses!  Live with the guilt, bitches, it’s appropriate.  Want to make me feel better?  Then go fall under a bus, or suck-off a 9mm, because to see that you’re still wasting oxygen makes me sick, and the only cure would be to drink beer out of your empty skull.  Now that’s what I'd call making amends!

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