The harsh reality I have to live with is that my hopes and dreams of finding a soul mate are now, always have been, and forever will be, worth absolutely nothing. This condition is acceptable only in absence of any other context, for once I see what’s been missing, I tend to long for it… and it hurts. Thus the dark Irony: loneliness, lack of companionship, and the sometimes paralyzing despair that comes with them, are only made worse by the times when they are briefly interrupted.
Only the cruelest of souls would fuck with my perception of this reality for profit or gain. You’d think such souls would would be few and far between, yet I seem to not only encounter, but embrace and encourage them, regularly. It takes way too little to draw my heart into these deals, and way too much abuse before it will finally concede and cut its losses.
For whatever period of time the illusion seems real, it does bring some real happiness… alright, a lot of real happiness… if only the highest highs were not immediately followed by the lowest lows, this roller coaster ride wouldn’t be quite so sickening.